By Monica Velin Rodriguez
Q. How does a victim of shunning get a message to their family?
A. It’s impossible.
Mandated shunning is a social death sentence. In many cases, the shunning is so complete that victims have been blocked on phones and all social media. Any call would be ended; every door would be slammed shut. If a target of mandated shunning is seen in public by a beloved family member or friend still inside the high-demand group, the group member turns and quickly walks away as if they’ve seen a ghost.
That’s the challenge I face. I’m invisible. But a couple of months ago, as I relaxed in the small Wisconsin town where I grew up, an idea came to me. Here in Hayward—a town of just over 2,000 according to the welcome sign—everyone knows each other directly or by one degree of separation. People know my family. Many of my former classmates and teachers still live here. If I were to… hmm… put up a billboard with my face on it… I would be recognized. My voice would be heard!
It was an “Aha!” moment that led to the billboard you see in this photo.
What do I hope to achieve?
1) For my parents who’ve been coerced into shunning me, this sign may trigger something dormant in them—the natural love of a parent that is (hopefully) stronger than brainwashing.
2) For other group members who feel comfortable and justified in the righteousness of their aggressive behavior, seeing this may put a crack in their self-confidence. They may become uncomfortably aware of how non-members would view their group’s shunning policy. They may even be questioned by outsiders, and be forced to examine their actions through a new lens.
3) For the general public, group bullying under the guise of religious belief has gone largely unrecognized due to the secretive and insular nature of groups that implement shunning policies. This billboard can raise awareness about how vital it is that all organizations respect individual human rights.
Since my Stop Mandated Shunning billboard went up on August 21, 2024, I’ve received overwhelmingly positive feedback. One local woman who is a victim of shunning was overjoyed to see my billboard. She said I was the first local person she had been able to find who shared her experience. She worked as a midwife in an Amish community and told me about a man she’d met who wanted to leave, but was unable to do so for fear of losing his wife and children. I was friended on Facebook by a man who contacted me to say how amazed he was that this billboard was in the same town where his family lives. They have shunned him for 20 years. He attempted suicide 5 times before re-inventing his life and making up his mind to thrive without them.
Many former teachers, classmates and acquaintances have also contacted me and expressed solidarity. This has touched my heart and strengthened my spirit. Many targets of shunning have expressed a desire to be more active in their own efforts to raise awareness. If you are one of those people, please complete the survey and tell your story on this website. Also, try thinking outside the box. Maybe there is something you can do that no one has thought of yet. Maybe you can put up a billboard of your own! There are many options, but LAMAR is a large company with billboards all over the USA.
My recent willingness to be more vocal on this topic has led to some amazing privileges, including my recent interview on the popular ExJW CriticalThinker YouTube channel. This channel has helped many current and former Jehovah’s Witnesses who are starting to ask questions or who need support as they go through the difficult transition of beginning to think for themselves after a lifetime of being controlled. Please check out my interview which explains my family’s long (5 generation) history with the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah’s Witnesses) and, most importantly, the positive strides that are being made with regard to ending the crime of mandated shunning once and for all!