Quinn Moon-Reed: Shunning is Traumatic

When I was 18, I was kicked out of my parents’ house, largely because I began questioning the Jehovah’s Witness religion that I had been born and raised in. Despite still attending meetings for a while, my disconnection from the faith led to a complete break at 19. Unfortunately, my parents decided to shun me before I was disfellowshipped, and in doing so, I lost my entire family. My hope was that by slowly fading away from the religion, rather than formally leaving it, I might be able to maintain some communication with my loved ones. But I was wrong.

 

I come from a third-generation Jehovah’s Witness family. I was baptized at 14, and for years, I served as a pioneer and participated in many roles within the congregation. I was seen as a model for others, someone who was expected to succeed within the religion. But when I left, I became an outcast, shunned not just by the organization but by my own family and friends as well.

 

The pain of being disowned is something that lingers. It’s been over five years since I was cut off, and many of my six younger siblings were too young to remember me. The few memories they may have of me are tainted by what they’ve been told, and the hope of ever rebuilding any kind of relationship with them seems increasingly unlikely as they grow older.

 

Shunning is not just painful—it’s traumatic. While I’ve struggled with depression for years, nothing could prepare me for the emotional weight of being cast out by the people I loved most. For a long time, I was drowning in despair. But as time passed, I was fortunate enough to find new friends, people who didn’t judge me for my beliefs. They helped me realize that unconditional love is the only kind that truly matters. No longer bound by religious shame, I’ve learned that I am worthy of love and happiness, regardless of what I was taught growing up.

 

Today, I live a fulfilling life surrounded by my chosen family, who love and support me in ways I never thought possible. The emotional freedom I now have far outweighs the limits of my former life. I know that I am capable of much more than the Jehovah’s Witness religion ever allowed me to believe, and I now live without the constraints of outdated dogma.

 

This journey hasn’t been easy, but I’ve come out stronger, and I continue to heal each day. My hope is that sharing my story will encourage others who are suffering from mandated shunning to know that there is hope, and there is life beyond the isolation.