Lauren: I Lost Everything for Choosing My Own Life

I was born into a religious group called The Geelong Revival Centre. At 18 years old, I had finally had enough.

During my first semester at university, my eyes were opened to the world around me. For the first time, I understood what they were all so afraid of—I could have my own life. I could feel it right at my fingertips: freedom.

Everything changed after a conversation with my parents. They discovered I had spent some of my own money without asking for permission. Instead of giving them the answer they were looking for—what I had spent it on—I decided it was time to come out with the truth.

“I don’t want to go [to religious services] anymore,” I said.

My parents called the Pastor. He came to our family home that very night, as though it were some kind of emergency. He tried to convince me to stay within the fold. But when he realized he couldn’t change my mind, he looked me straight in the eyes and said the sentence that would change my entire life:

“You can’t live here then.”

My parents didn’t disagree. They would never disagree with the Pastor. I was told to pack one overnight bag with whatever could fit in it—and that was all I got to take when I left home for good. I lost everything and everyone I knew.

The result of the shunning enforced by my church is that I now have no contact with my family or the people I thought were my true friends. The most painful loss for me has been losing contact with my sisters. I grew up with three siblings, and I haven’t had a proper relationship with them in 12 years.

My family tells people that they aren’t really shunning me. They say that if I wanted a relationship with them, I could go back at any time. And while that might seem true on the surface, what they don’t say is that there’s a condition: I must return to what they believe is the One True Church.

But I won’t go back to a place that made me feel sad as a child and terrified to make a mistake. There was only one occasion when I tried to return home—for just one night—because I was in a precarious situation and had nowhere to go. My parents told me I had to be the "prodigal son" and return to the Church. I was told to find other accommodation.

Even as a teenager, I understood the risk of being shunned. Around age 16, I began wrestling with the idea of leaving. I knew it could mean losing my parents, my family, and everything I thought I was supposed to be. But at 18, I made the decision to leave anyway—because staying would have meant losing myself.

In my parents’ eyes, I’m no longer their child. I am a sinner. A lost cause. Someone to be cast aside. A backslider.

This level of control doesn’t just hurt the people who leave—it destroys entire families. It convinces parents that abandoning their children is a holy act that might one day bring them back. It convinces children that if they don’t cut contact with loved ones who have left (like older siblings), they too will face eternal damnation. Every member of the family—children and adults alike—endures a grief process. And it’s all unnecessary. This is not normal. It’s not healthy. It’s deeply damaging to everyone’s mental health.

The Geelong Revival Centre let me down the most. They offered a false sense of security and love. But everything came with conditions. Every problem, weakness, or “temptation from the devil” was considered my fault. I was told to pray for whatever I needed to remain faithful—and if I didn’t receive it, that meant I wasn’t walking right with God. I was made to feel unworthy.

That is not love. And it’s not okay.

Since leaving the religion of my childhood, I’ve gained so much. I now have my amazing children. I have true friends who are now my chosen family—people who show me unconditional love. They’ve taught me so much about the world—things I never could have known if I’d stayed inside that group.

I believe the voices of those who have been victimized by organized ostracism must be heard. More activism and awareness around this overlooked issue is absolutely essential.