Lester Rafuse: A Lifetime of Faith, Then Silence

I was basically born into the religion. My grandparents—and subsequently my parents—were converted around the time I was born in 1934. I was thus raised in the religion.

As a child, I had to deal with rejecting the flag salute (as an 8–10-year-old), abstaining from holiday celebrations like Christmas and Easter, and missing out on most social activities such as birthday celebrations. Shunning was not an enforced practice until the 1950s and only became a more rigid practice as time went on. In the earlier days of the faith, there seemed to be less fear about the development of so-called “apostate” groups.

I matured, met, and married a lovely JW girl, and served as an elder in my congregation. When we became parents, I became acutely aware of my responsibility to teach our children our religion. That awareness led me to seek a deeper understanding of our faith. I subsequently did a rather deep dive into its beliefs and history.

The result was a complete destruction of my faith.

Since both my and my wife’s entire families were believers, there was a bit of a quandary about what to do without wrecking my whole life. I met with the elders, resigned from my roles in the group, and tried to explain my position to my wife—without blowing up my marriage.

In short, my marriage survived. I felt our children would not be harmed by continuing in the family faith, even if their father was a "fallen" former believer.

Eventually, my wife lost faith, and my three younger children left the Jehovah’s Witnesses. However, my eldest daughter and her family cut off all communication with us in 2012. Our two granddaughters in that family, and several great-grandchildren—who we were never told about—were included in the shunning loss.

That is how it stands presently. Shunning is indeed a very toxic and seriously injurious practice.