Forced to Shun the Ones I Loved

I’m a born-in  third-generation Witness. It hasn’t been easy growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, especially with all the people I’ve been forced to shun [cut off social and familial contact with]. In the late 1980s, my mother’s two sisters and their husbands were disfellowshipped [expelled from the congregation for perceived serious wrongdoing]. I was nine years old at the time. Their children—my cousins—were my best friends. Aside from my parents and grandparents, these were my closest people. I was forced to shun them from the age of nine. I was never allowed to play with my cousins again. This has been so damaging to me.

I was baptized at the age of 13. In reality, baptism was more of an expectation than a choice. I just wanted to make my mam and dad happy. The day after my baptism, I cried my eyes out at school. It suddenly dawned on me that if I was "naughty," I could be disfellowshipped too, just like my aunts and uncles. The pressure was enormous.

My best friend was disfellowshipped at the age of 17. Her home life wasn’t good—she left home and got pregnant—so I was forced to shun her as well. To this day, I don’t know where she went or who she turned to for support. Our relationship was ruined. I don’t even know where she lives now.

I’ve been a PIMO [Physically In, Mentally Out—someone who is still attending but no longer believes] for three years now. I DON’T WANT to be a Jehovah’s Witness anymore!!! But how can I leave? To this day, my own mother still shuns her two sisters because she believes she won’t get into paradise if she has a normal relationship with them.

If I leave, my parents would shun us too. I can’t cope with that. Please help us. I want to be free. I’ve wasted too much time, and I didn’t get to enjoy my youth because of all the restrictions put upon me.

Mandated shunning needs to stop. Me and my husband want out, but we both love our parents—who are getting old—so much.