Michael Shaw: A Lifetime of Control — and a Life After Leaving

When I realized it wasn’t the truth and I disassociated [formally left Jehovah’s Witnesses], I lost all my “so-called” JW friends overnight.
I also have a devout JW mother who has had nothing to do with me for over 30 years—all because I didn’t want to sit in meetings or knock on people’s doors anymore [door-to-door evangelizing, known as “field service”]. I have been very lucky, as things eventually turned out okay for me, and I managed to make some really good, genuine new friends.It has not turned out that well for many others, I am sad to say—hence the hashtag #ShunningKills, if you catch my drift. In my personal and humble opinion, it’s a miserable, joyless cult that has ruined so many lives.

I was raised from birth by an Elder. I had been a Pioneer [a full-time evangelizer], and I was a Ministerial Servant [a congregation assistant to the Elders] when I left the organization.  have probably forgotten more about it than a lot of current JWs will ever know. After many years of personal research into the history of the organization, I personally feel it is not “The Truth” [the term Jehovah’s Witnesses use for their religion]. Just because someone tells you something is the truth over and over again does not make it the truth.

As you can see, the cult and I go back a very long way. All of this is totally my personal opinion based on a lifetime of association, endless research, and a lot of inside knowledge. I think JWs are brainwashed, indoctrinated, simple, and gullible, and that their faith is just blind faith. I personally feel that an awful lot of them actually do “wake up” [realize the organization is not what it claims] but choose to stay in the organization living a lie—even to the point of dying unnecessarily by refusing a lifesaving blood transfusion. (Totally unintentionally, as at the time they are vulnerable, sick, “love bombed”, very frightened, surrounded by HLC [Hospital Liaison Committee—Elders assigned to enforce JW blood policies] Elders, and confused.) They worry that if they dare to leave, they will get shunned and lose all their JW family and friends overnight—as I did. (That situation is referred to as being PIMO—[Physically In, Mentally Out].)

I suppose a lot about the way I feel traces back to my childhood. As I mentioned earlier, I was born into the cult and raised by an Elder. I remember not being allowed to have any contact with any child who wasn’t a JW. There was no Christmas, no birthdays, no Easter—and of course, no masturbation. I remember when the Governing Body [the ruling leadership group of Jehovah’s Witnesses] first came out with the absolute nonsense implying that "masturbation could lead to homosexuality" (in their book Your Youth: Getting the Best Out of It, still available on the JW website). That insidious comment caused a lot of real guilt, anxiety, and confusion for many young JWs. Growing up is already hard enough without harmful, man-made brainwashing and indoctrination forced upon you.

I remember being made to sit through very boring Kingdom Hall meetings twice a week and being forced to spend every Saturday and Sunday morning with my parents knocking on strangers’ doors, showing them The Watchtower [a key JW publication]. I just longed to do the “normal things” that other children my age were doing. I had the most sad and miserable childhood you could imagine. I have been told that some children become so depressed from being raised strictly as a JW that they commit suicide. Is that true?

My father was an Elder, and he told me at 14 years old that if I ever did anything bad that would cause him to lose his position as an Elder, I would have to find somewhere else to live. Not exactly a recipe for a happy and secure home life during your formative years, is it? I feel that many Elders are in it for the power and the glory.

I ended up okay in life (eventually), but many others don’t. I know of someone who worked for a JW business and rented her apartment from a JW landlord.
When she chose to leave the religion, she lost her job, her accommodation, and most of her JW family and all of her “so-called” JW friends overnight. No wonder so many are PIMO—when so much is at risk if you even dare to think about leaving the cult.