Sue: I Gave Her a Kidney—She Gave Me a Note Saying Goodbye Forever

Raised as 3rd generation JW’s. In 1978 I married a JW and set out to raise the 4th generation together. I hated going out in service, but I still did go. If I went to a door alone, many times I pretended to knock.

In the 1990’s, I realized I was a lesbian. Stayed in the closet. During those years I was disfellowshipped. I pretended and was eventually reinstated.

In 1999, my mother went into complete kidney failure. She was too old to be on the donor list so I offered to be tested to be a living donor. Just before the surgery, I got up enough nerve to leave my husband. I just could not take it another day. 9/11/2000, I donated a kidney to my mother. She was very grateful, she sent me flowers on the anniversary every year. That is, until, someone outed me in 2009.

I had a private commitment ceremony with my girlfriend. Someone found out and hid in the bushes - literally, and got a video. The elders showed my 80 yr old mother a video of us having a beautiful ceremony. Mom called me a sexual deviant. Later that week, I came home from work and there was a note from my mom who wrote “You know I can never speak to you again.” I had been disfellowshipped again. I gave her a kidney… The flowers stopped. The appreciation stopped. She died in 2018. She never spoke to me again after I read that note.