Amy A.: Born In, Not Bound—Breaking Free from the JW Mental Prison

Hello, my name is Amy, I am an Ex-Jehovah’s Witness, having “faded out” about 12 years ago. I do not typically identify myself in this manner, as I no longer abide by the rules or mental prison that held me captive for far too long; however, for the sake of this forum I will do so.

I was born into that controlling organization (3rd generation), so it had been my birthright to see life and everything in it with an “us-versus-them” perception. I started waking up in my early 30’s, right before that group rebranded themselves with the blue jw.org square, and before they started doing televangelist activities with their online broadcasting and plethora of video indoctrination efforts. Looking at them as they continue to change nearly everything that had once been “unique characteristics” of God’s “one and only true organization”, yet still seeing so many cognitively distanced from using their own critical thinking skills, is disheartening.

Relationships with my immediate family, many of my extended family, and nearly all of my previous “friends” from that group have been severely affected (many have been severed) as a result of me not associating within nor participating in any of their practices. I am “soft-shunned” from most members of my immediate family; and, when that’s not in play, my husband and I are not included in normal family gatherings (on my side). Again, I share that I was NOT reproved or disfellowshipped, nor could anyone in that organization officially slap me with an apostate label; however, my intentionally distancing from that false belief set has indeed created a very real situation where everyone still “in” (all those family and friends who profess “Godly Love” and “Pure Worship”) continues to try to emotionally blackmail me (and my completely innocent husband).

Sunk Cost Fallacy is in effect with nearly everyone in that group, especially those who have spent their entire lives in it thus far – it keeps them stuck. It is all about the community of self-aggrandizing fellow believers all wearing their own masks. So many raising their children not just to be obedient clones, but to also give up their lives to serve “Jehovah” (the Governing Body of 11 men in New York) in any capacity – and to do so without question. To increase their billions of dollars in the leadership’s vast real estate empire. To conceal in secrecy vile (and often times criminal) behavior that has caused undue harm to so many children, young people, those “born in” and countless others who have fallen victim to heavy mind reform tactics.

Nearly every single bullet point describing each letter of the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control, developed by Steven Hassan, is actively in effect within the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Not sure if the group you’re in (or considering joining) uses Authoritarian Control? Start with one big, main question – “If I ever want to leave this group, can I do so without being dishonored?”

What I’ve shared here barely scratches the surface. I am gathering my voice, and sharing even this little bit is my first step publicly. I just want my family to wake up and be strong enough to walk away from that toxicity. To have the courage to change for whatever time they may have left in their lives.