I am 30 years old, and this is the story of my journey in and out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses —not once, but twice. My life has been shaped by the doctrines, the fear, and the manipulation of this high-control group. Now, I am finally free, and I want to share my experience.
I was born into the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and at just 7 years old, I was pressured to cut off my newly disfellowshipped father. For the next 3 years, the elders and ultra-religious family members did their utmost to heavily indoctrinate me. They showered me with praise and commendation for putting their religious interests first, and I felt accepted and loved. And, at just 10 years old, I was persuaded into baptism. At the time, I believed it was the best way to protect myself from the Devil and make my family and my God proud. For them, this step was to not only ensure I gave my life to their organization but also that I no longer would have any excuse to be in contact with my father. At such a young age, there was no way that I could have fully understood the commitment I was making and how it would change my life.
Unfortunately, up to and around the time of my baptism, I had been enduring multiple forms of abuse. Seeking an escape, I turned to my ex-Jehovah’s Witness father and his wife. I was only 11 years old when I was shunned for the first time—by all my friends and family. Life was good for a short time, but when my father abandoned me and I no longer had any family members outside the religion, the isolation was unbearable. With nowhere else to turn and my mental health deteriorating, I returned to the religion at 16 years old. I tried to make it work and to fit back in. To survive, I gaslit myself into believing that I had chosen this life for myself.
Now, at 30, I have left the Jehovah’s Witnesses for good. My husband and I made this decision not just for ourselves, but for the sake of our children and our futures. Our son was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease that required a bone marrow transplant and transfusion support to save his life. Without this medical intervention, he would have suffered greatly and ultimately died.
It was at the time of his diagnosis that we began to question the blood doctrine. As we delved deeper, we realized it wasn’t biblical. It had caused countless unnecessary deaths, and this realization unraveled everything we had been taught. It became clear to us that the Jehovah’s Witnesses were a man-made, high-control organization that fully adhered to the BITE Model of authoritarian control. They were, without a doubt, a cult. So, when we chose to pursue this life-saving treatment, we knew that we needed to keep our decision a secret from all our family and friends. Should they find out that we no longer subscribed to any of their teachings, let alone the blood doctrine, our entire support system would condemn and cut us off.
Despite our best efforts to slowly build a life outside the organization and free of their dogma—while still maintaining peace and family ties—eventually, the truth did come out. A few overzealous family members relentlessly tried to ascertain if we were adhering to the Governing Body’s regulations. Sadly, by emotionally manipulating our 4-year-old son, they found what they were looking for—a Christmas Tree. We were berated in our own home for something as harmless as privately having a Christmas tree
and presents. During this confrontation, unsurprisingly, their next question was locked and loaded – had we given our son blood? I replied that, yes, we had given him anything and everything he needed to survive. We were called “disgusting”, “disgusting liars” and that we “should be ashamed” for unapologetically saving our child’s life with blood and for rejecting their doctrine.
Because of our decision to fade away and no longer identify as Jehovah’s Witnesses, we have been systematically shunned by everyone we once held dear. My best friend of over 12 years—someone who had been with me through thick and thin—shunned me without hesitation. My grandmother, my aunts who felt like sisters, my cousins, my in-laws, our extended family and friends—they are all gone. It is utterly heart-shattering.
I am not a bad person. I am not evil. I do not deserve to be shunned. My husband and my innocent children do not deserve to be shunned. And yet, here we are, erased from their lives simply because we no longer believe the same things. The Jehovah’s Witnesses encourage this behavior. They reward their members for stripping away any natural affection or love they feel for former witnesses. They coerce their followers into rejecting and erasing anyone who doesn’t conform. They manipulate millions of people into believing this is their choice, that they are pleasing Jehovah God by doing so. The threat is clear: fail to shun, and you’ll face death at Armageddon and a severed relationship with God.
The pain is immense, but I have found solace and strength in the ex-Jehovah’s Witness community on Reddit. These individuals have wrapped me in love and understanding, helping me navigate this trauma. Together, we are victims helping each other heal.
Jehovah’s Witnesses should not wield such control over people’s lives. Their practices are detrimental to mental health, inhumane, and cruel. Despite their claims in court, their policies have not changed. They continue to cause immense harm, and it needs to stop.
I share my story because I believe it’s important for the world to see the truth about this organization. It’s time to hold them accountable for the pain and suffering they inflict.